𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐖𝐎 — half a heart

━━━━━━━

 𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 felt relieving to be home, to be back on earth and yet all that Emilia Clemente could feel was utter dread.

 When Tony stepped off the ship would he see Pepper Potts waiting for him? Or was she just ashes on the wind? Would his fellow teammates be waiting for him to return? His closest friends, Rhodey and Happy, she recalled Stark telling her. Would they be there?

 But for Emilia herself, there were very few people who could be anticipating her return. She had secluded herself from people for years and watched so many of her friends leave her behind or die before her very eyes.

 Wong and Bruce; they were all she had left. Even the Masters back in Kathmandu, or even the students within Kamar-Taj; none knew her well enough to be more than acquaintances, allies.

 Her stomach dropped at the thought; if Wong and Bruce had faded away too, she'd have nobody. Nobody to miss her. Nobody to care that she was still alive, and that was what she needed... Because Emilia Clemente had given up.

 She had only just realised how much distaste had flooded her tongue when the young woman had appeared in a halo of golden light; she didn't want to be saved. Emilia wanted nothing more than to drift off in her sleep and finally see Stephen again. She'd see her parents and the friends she'd hurt in her lifetime. The Ancient One would greet her with a sad smile.

 A cold hand grasped her arm, Nebula.

 Emilia did her best to wrench herself free as she shook her head. A wave of dizziness overtook her from that small action alone, "Take Tony first."

 She needed a moment alone.

 Nebula said nothing as she pulled away and turned on her heel, her arms sliding around Tony as she heaved him from his seat. The man stumbled on weak knees and sore ankles and his own head spun as black splotches appeared in his vision.

 He wanted to protest, to demand that Nebula carry Emilia if she had to, but he had to — No, Tony needed to know if Pepper was alright. He had to see her again.

 Emilia let her eyes close as she listened to the clang of their retreating steps against the metal ship. All alone, once more. She had almost expected the floodgates to open when she finally succumbed to the emptiness that clawed at her heart, yet no tears came. Just a dry sob that made her throat ache even more.

 Everything hurt and the numbness of knowing it would soon end had faded. Her face still stung; burns and blisters marred the skin of her cheek and temple. Her eye was still swollen, obscured by a black bruise. Every bone in her body protruded and looked as though they'd soon split through her paper-thin skin. Her complexion had turned a ghostly white and the veins within her body were visible beneath the surface.

 "Emilia?" A small and familiar voice called.

 Bruce Banner had a voice that could soothe almost anyone he spoke to. He said everything with such warmth and sympathy that you couldn't help but let the muscles of your body relax and give him the utmost attention. Emilia had always appreciated that about him.

 Emilia could have cried, she could have screamed and run towards him with arms wide. But all she did was twist her head to peer over her shoulder. Her lips trembled, "Bruce?"

 He almost didn't recognise her as she looked at him through those dull and hopeless eyes. He had always remembered her as a bright young woman with a round face, a permanent flush to her cheeks and an always-present grin. Then, upon meeting again he'd been greeted with the woman she had always meant to become; she had stood tall in the sanctum, eyes filled with determination and a certain spark had flooded her when she'd used her powers.

 Now she looked like a ghost with half a heart left to her name.

 She watched him step forward tentatively and grasp her frail hand. He helped her stand as she leaned a majority of what little weight she had left onto him. The pair walked in silence and he could feel her tremble, he could hear the rasp echo from her chest with each breath of fresh air.

 He wanted to tell her how glad he was that she was alright, that he couldn't have handled her leaving once more. But the look on her face, and the lack of her tall and handsome other half had made him swallow those words like a lump in his throat. He knew that look in her eyes; the begging and pleading for a release from the pain and hurt. He knew it far too well.

 Emilia greeted the warmth that Bruce provided graciously; she leaned closer to him, her head landing on his shoulder. At least she had him... But it just wasn't enough, and she was reminded of that when she looked up to see Pepper Potts herself clinging to Tony.

 She had fresh tears rolling down her pink cheeks, spreading onto her trembling lips as she hugged him close, willing to never let go again. Tony had slumped into her and drank in her touch with an eagerness Emilia hadn't seen from him in days, weeks.

 Bruce glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and followed her gaze, "Let's get you inside."

 "It's been twenty-three days since Thanos came to Earth," Natasha Romanoff began; even as Emilia drifted in and out of focus while her eyes glazed over, even as she shifted in her seat at the uncomfortable feeling of being attached to an I.V. she could still hear the tightness in the Avenger's throat. "World governments are in pieces. The parts that are still working are trying to take a census, and it looks like he did... Exactly what he said he was going to do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures."

 The room they were gathered in was filled with screens that dazzled before them, unfamiliar faces flashed before Emilia as she remained silent at her place beside Tony. There were names below each face, a brief description of their build and character; all people Tony and his fellow Avengers had known.

 Scott Lang, Sam Wilson, Hank Pym, Shuri, James Barnes, Wanda Maximoff, T'Challa, Hope Van Dyne... The list seemed almost endless; and then Tony sighed and dropped his face into his hand as the image of the young Peter Parker flashed before him. Unlike the others that had been shown prior, the young teenager had a bright grin, his round cheeks lifting ever-higher. The image alone was enough for Emilia's stomach to twist. She rested a hand atop Tony's.

 But then the nightmare she'd witnessed came to life once more. Her breath caught in her throat, a small choke hiccuped out as she released a shaky breath. Tony brought his gaze up, though he knew whose face he'd be greeted with.

 Stephen Strange and his annoyingly sharp features stared back at them both.

 Emilia wanted to push the image away, to run and hide from everything to do with the man that had managed to leave a rift in her heart, but she also wanted to coddle it; to cradle the image that could never capture him the way her own eyes did.

 The picture that faded from sight had shown his stern features; hard blue eyes, a downturn at his lips, and even the almost disinterested look upon his face. She knew him so much better, and it almost hurt to see him that way again. That image could never show the soft crease that would appear at the sides of his eyes when she'd smile at him. The light tick of his lips whenever he'd look her way.

 She'd never see those things again.

 Then, as Emilia thought the world was doing her a favour by making him fade from sight, another face replaced the one that haunted her every waking hour. Wong's countenance came into view and Emilia couldn't keep herself upright. Her back slumped against her chair, her hand fell slack from Tony's and made a light and miserable thud on the table.

 Bruce was all that was left of her life before the fight upon Titan.

 "I'm sorry," Tony whispered, his words breaking as Emilia looked at him through dull eyes that drooped as though heavy with sleep and plagued with nightmares. Before one of his teammates could speak, Tony straightened his back and his voice grew somewhat louder, "Where is he now?"

 Steve Rogers shook his head, golden hair glinting. His arms were folded across his chest and even though it had been years since he'd been freed from the ice; he still looked like a soldier craving, and ready for war, "We don't know. He just... opened a portal and walked right through."

 Tony shook his head, willing away the images of the towering creature with a golden gauntlet; the creature he had lost against. Peter was gone, Stephen was gone and though Tony would have loved to throw something incredibly heavy at the magical doctor, the woman beside him was enough for him to feel more shame and guilt than anything else.

 He wheeled his chair forth, eyes catching sight of a lone figure with his elbows resting on his knees; Thor, "What's wrong with him?"

 Emilia looked up, remnants of tears made her vision blurry but even she could see the despair and mourning on Thor's face. Everyone thought him to be their strongest; their muscle and their sword. He had seen himself in that way, so it was no wonder he was mourning their loss. His loss.

 She could understand him. From the look on his face, he'd lost a loved one, and though Emilia couldn't have cared less for the Asgardian by the name of Loki, it was obvious that even despite the man's horrific ventures, Thor still cared deeply for his brother.

 So she understood his grief, but she knew the guilt he felt was also like her own. Emilia was supposed to be strong; the ability to manipulate gravity with the mere swipe of her fingers entailed so much chaos and destruction. She had a weapon unlike any other in her arsenal but she'd still been too crippled by fear to let it run wild, and they had lost because of it. Perhaps if she hadn't been so damn terrified of losing control, they might have won.

 "He's pissed." Was the gravelly reply to Tony's question, and Emilia had to twist her neck to catch sight of the one who spoke. She almost choked as she watched a raccoon scratch its head and speak again, "He thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but there's a lot of that goin' around, ain't there?

 "Honestly," Tony breathed, "Until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear."

 "Maybe I am."

 One might have thought that being responsible for keeping reality in check, and fighting off beats from other dimensions would have prepared Emilia for aliens and talking rodents... Evidently not.

 "We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now," Steve spoke up, his voice over-powering whatever squabble that was likely to erupt between Tony and the talking racoon, "Deep space scans and satellites and we got nothing." He twisted his gaze to Tony and Emilia as he crossed his arms again, "Tony, you fought him —"

 "—Who told you that?" Tony scoffed with poison in his words. Their loss still burned at the touch and Emilia knew the armoured Avenger still had his grievances with the Super Soldier. "No. He almost wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician —" He abruptly paused and swallowed as Emilia ducked her head, "While Time Stone was given away. There was no fight."

 His last word was spat as though venom had truly gathered at the tip of his tongue and burned with each passing syllable. Steve seemed unfazed by his old teammates' harsh demeanour.

 The Super Soldier nodded, "Okay... Did he give you any clues? Any coordinates, anything?" He looked to Emilia, "How about you?"

 "Don't." Tony seethed as he pointed a boney finger Steve's way and the Soldier swiftly brought his attention away from Emilia who was ready to crumble in her seat.

 Having to listen to them all repeat their failures, to hear Thanos' name over and over again and see the images of their fallen friends and allies was all too much. Emilia knew they had lost, she had felt it. She had felt the surge of the stones' power and the shift around them. She had felt it as Stephen turned to ashes beneath her fingertips. She still did.

 Even now after weeks had passed them by, she still felt as though a layer of dust was clinging to her calloused fingers. The burn on her face ached whenever she thought of Stephen, as though her own body was making her pay for the loss she had contributed to.

 But to have Steve turn to her with desperation in his eyes, determination... She was used to being looked at for an answer; from lab work to helping the Ancient One to defending the world with Stephen and Wong. But when somebody looked to her, the one who had been too scared to fight with everything she had — she wanted to vanish. Why couldn't it have been her instead?

 "I saw this coming a few years back." Said Tony, his voice almost eerily calm, "I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming."

 "Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus —"

 "— And I needed you." Tony snapped at Steve; even with bones sticking out, skin drooping around his eyes and the dull look in Stark's eyes, he still looked as though he'd leap from his chair and throttle the soldier with everything he had, "As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry."

 "You know what I need?" Tony spoke aloud as he rose to his feet. His hands circled around the armrests of his wheelchair and each and every person in the room could see the way they shook and strained beneath his weight. His legs looked as though they were ready to give way at any given moment and snap like twigs. Emilia, if she had the energy, would have hopped from her own chair, ripped the I.V from her arm and pushed the idiot back into his seat; but she couldn't find the will.

 "I need a shave," Stark continued, rattling fingers skimming the length of his own jaw. He scoffed and stared Steve in the eyes. He tore the I.V from his arm, ignoring the protests from Rhodey as the man scrambled forwards. Tony only swatted his friend away, "And I remember telling you that what we needed was a suit of armour around the world. Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not. That's what we needed."

 Steve remained motionless, "Well, that didn't work out, did it?"

 "I said we'd lose. You said, 'We'll do that together, too.' Well guess what Cap?" Tony grew closer to the soldier as the seconds ticked by and the other avengers dotted around the room stood in silence. Nobody made a move to shut him down or drag him back to his seat. "We lost. You weren't there. But I guess that's what we do right?" Tony stumbled and Rhodey, to his credit, tried to wrangle his friend once more, "Our best work after the fact? We're the Avengers, not the Prevengers, right?"

 "Okay, you made your point," Rhodey tried as he gently curled his fingers around his friend's wrist. His light hold was easy for Stark to strike away even in his pitiful state. Anger fuelled him more than anything else now.

 "No, no, here's my point." Tony scoffed as he stepped out of Rhodey's hold. He rounded on their new addition, the one who had drifted into space and saved the stranded three; Tony looked at her as though she were a hero, Emilia couldn't stand the sight, "She's great, by the way. We need you. You're new blood." He brought his hollow stare to Steve again, "We're a bunch of tired old mills."

 Tony's finger was jabbed into Steve's chest as the genius stared up at him. Even from where Emilia was sitting she could see the harsh rise and fall of Tony's chest, the flare of his nostrils and the way his jaw shook as he clamped his teeth together.

 But it had been a long time coming, really. Emilia didn't know every detail of what had happened between the old teammates but it was easy to see that Tony had taken whatever it was to heart; he had turned his head at any mention of Steve's name.

 "I got nothing for you Cap." Tony spat as his throat bobbed, "I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust," His voice lowered to a spiteful hiss, one you'd expect from a vengeful viper, "You liar."

 Calloused fingertips tugged at the arc reactor that clung to the skin of his chest. He tore it off and slammed it into the Captain's palm, "Here. You take this, you find him and put that on..." His breath escaped as nothing but a distant wheeze.

 Emilia's hand shot into the air the moment she watched Stark wobble. His legs shook like leaves in the wind, and then he buckled. His eyes had closed, preparing himself for his harsh collision with the ground, yet instead, he fell into his wheelchair. A blue remnant twirled around the wheels and jittered away like a frightened mouse.

 The Avengers looked at Emilia for a second as she brought her arm back to her side, all traces of blue had firmly evaporated. She had no intention of demonstrating her powers as though she were a monkey on a stage, least of all for the collection of 'heroes' that encircled her; they were not her team, hell, they weren't even a team in general.

 They were not people she wanted to be around.

 But Tony was, as was Nebula and Bruce; the only people in the room that she had the capacity to feel anything for.

 "Are you okay?" She asked softly, unsure if Tony had even heard her question.

 "I'm —" Tony started as he twisted his head to glance her way. "I'm —" And then his body slumped in his chair. His arms tumbled over the sides of the armrests, hanging limp in the air. His chin was tucked close to his chest, finally looking at peace after weeks of floating in space.

 Emilia's lip quivered as she sucked in a breath and felt the stare of the Captain land on her. Rhodey fawned over Tony, propping him in his chair appropriately so he could be wheeled to the medical bay and treated; now it was her turn.

 Her dull gaze met the determined spark of Steve's and the soldier spoke first, "Do you have anything?"

 "He said nothing. Tony's right, we have no coordinates, no information on what Thanos planned to do next. We took the fight to him in the hopes that we'd at least buy the lot of you, and Vision some time. We fought, we lost." she hissed as the burn on her face flared up again, "We failed."

 Steve parted his lips to speak again, and much to each of their surprise it was Bruce Banner that thwarted his attempts. The Doctor shook his head, "That's enough." His hands coiled around the cool handles of the wheelchair Emilia was slumped within, "They just got back, they haven't eaten in days, and they're injured. Give them a minute."

 "We don't have a minute."

 "Then make one." Bruce snapped, and he hadn't the energy to bother for a response from the startled soldier. He picked up his pace and wheeled Emilia out of the room.

 The moment they were away from prying eyes, Emilia slouched her shoulders. She understood Steve; they needed every ounce of information they could possibly gather... but at the end of the day, what was the point? Was the soldier expecting to find Thanos and simply try to fight him again? What would that solve?

 She had a single sliver of information that she had kept from them all; even Tony and Nebula.

 The blast that had shaken their dimension and taken fifty percent of life with it, had occurred not just once, but twice. It had to have been at least two weeks after Thanos had first snapped his fingers and taken away their loved ones. 

 The towering Titan had done it once more, and Emilia had an awful feeling in the very pit of her stomach... a feeling that told her the second blast that had rattled her bones was nothing more than security; a means of ensuring that what Thanos had done could never be undone.

━━━━━━━

DATE: 14/12/2022

:·ﾟ★ oh dear; it seems that emilia has a little tidbit of info that'll crush everybody's hopes and dreams. and yes, i changed things a little; wong was taken by the snap too. i'm just that mean <3

please remember to leave feedback & comments. i require a certain number of comments before i publish the next update. please give me a follow to keep updated and receive sneak peeks! do not leave 'update' comments, you will be muted.